Category Archives: English

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Monday is ESEN Books Day!

Category : English , language , Languages , learning

On Monday, check out Amazon.com for two books! If you’ve got young children, then you’ll enjoy our first book in a new children’s book series: “Olivia and The Mush”, designed for adults to read and draw with preschoolers and first readers. And, if you’re still reluctant to learn a second language, check out “5 Reasons to NOT Learn a Second Language”. And, don’t forget, it’s still “Read A New Book” month!


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Try saying THIS word 10 times fast!

Category : English , language , Languages , learning

pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis

http://www.transpanish.biz/translation_blog/longest-english-word/


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just a little pat on the back…

Category : English , language , learning , Spanish

Here’s what a recent student said of our Spanish “boot camp”:

 

“Excellent flexibility and support in preparing for an exam to qualify as a bilingual staff member at work. And I passed! Julie has great teaching skills and a professional and well thought out way of presenting the information. It was a huge help that lessons could be done online as we live far apart. Thank you!!”

Transcription”>


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LSPs, beware!

Here’s another link from Mental Floss, one that should make us revamp our proofreading processes, in order to ensure that our translations are the absolute best that they can be:

 

http://mentalfloss.com/article/48795/9-little-translation-mistakes-caused-big-problems


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two views on music and language

Category : English , language , Languages , learning

As a musician and a language service provider, I found the following two citations very interesting:

http://www.smartbrief.com/09/18/13/musical-rhythm-could-be-linked-language-skills-study-says#.UkH66j-59Ws

“The ability to maintain musical rhythm could be linked to stronger language skills, a study says. Researchers asked 100 teenagers to tap their fingers to a beat and found that those with a history of poor reading skills had more difficulty keeping the beat.”

Ironic that teenagers, who usually are so keen to ‘keep a beat’, may be limited by their reading skills when they try to do so.

On the other hand, here’s a quote from a gentleman considered to be one of the most famous guitarists ever:

“There’s a melody in everything. And once you find the melody, then you connect immediately with the heart. Because sometimes English or Spanish, Swahili or any language gets in the way. But nothing penetrates the heart faster than the melody.”

Carlos Santana

Music and language: two arts and sciences that should be nurtured and reveled in.


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We´re back!

Yes, it´s been a while! Lots of things going on: a trip to Chile in Kichwa, a sad trip to the States to help grieving family members, and the biggest English-Spanish project that ESEN Translation has ever taken on. So, just to get reacquainted, here are some funnies from a book called “Disorder in the American Courts”, by Charles M. Sevilla, courtesy of WordMagicSoftware:

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.

ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
_________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget..
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ.

ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death..
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.

ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral…
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No..
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

Too funny!


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Coming down to the last ones!

Category : English , language , Languages , learning

Finally worked my way through all the funnies! Here are the last ones:

On a South African building: Mental health prevention centre.
Sign at Mexican disco: Members and non-members only.
In an Italian cemetery: Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves.
In a Bangkok temple: It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.
Instructions for a soap bubble gun: While solution is not toxic it will not make child edible.
At a Budapest zoo: Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.
A barbershop in Zanzibar, Tanzania: Gentlemen’s throats cut with nice sharp razors.

Did you enjoy those? I’m sure that we see such ‘gems’ every day! But, that’s what makes us language people indispensable, right? 🙂 Thanks, Ms. Christaki! And, we’ll be hearing more funnies from her in the future!


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More and more funnies!

Category : English , language , Languages , learning

When am I going to get back to Wazza Words? Well, is it my fault that my fellow language people keep sending me these great funnies? Nope, it’s not my fault! 🙂

I’m still working my way through the funny translations, compiled by Ms. Christaki. And, lo and behold! – there’s a list of conversational linguistic mix-ups, from the same author! Let’s look at more risible renderings (couldn’t resist!):

Cars & road signs
A sign on a car in Manila, Philippines: Car and owner for sale.
A sign at a vehicle repair shop in Bali Indonesia: Cat Oven.
On a highway sign in Australia: Take notice: when this sign is under water; this road is impassable.
From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo: When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.
Detour sign in Kyushu, Japan: Stop: Drive Sideways.

Stay tuned for more! And, watch that tootling!


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There’s still more funnies coming…

Category : English , language , Languages

How about shopping?

In a Hong Kong supermarket: For your convenience, we recommend courteous, efficient self-service.

Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop: Ladies may have a fit upstairs.

In a Rhodes tailor shop: Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.

In the window of a Swedish furrier: Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin.

In a Tokyo shop: Our nylons cost more than common, but you’ll find they are best in the long run.


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